There's no doubt some seasons of life cause us to waste much time and energy thinking about the ‘what ifs'. What if Covid hadn’t come along? I’d still have my job right? What if my mum had been diagnosed early? Maybe they could have removed the cancer. What if I had chosen a different relationship path… what if, what if.
Unlike regrets, I've found my ‘what ifs’ have nothing to do with something I did wrong- they are not cause and effect related. Though they may be a coping mechanism, unlike the learnings we can often get from regrets, they add no value to life, in fact they can often become depressing torment.
As hard as it is to let go, as sometimes holding onto the torment caused by asking that same question over and over seems like a way to stay connected to something lost, I must accept that there are in fact no ‘what ifs’. It did happen and was always going to.